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getting better!!

The people in your life should be two things 1) Honest and 2) Patient. I realize that the people I love most are those exact things. But sometimes, I miss the mark with others. It is never my intention to hurt people but I think that I do more than I’d like to admit. How do I hurt people? Sometimes, I’m honest without the patience…ok, I’ll admit it; most of the time, I’m honest without patience.

Here is why that’s a problem. With honesty, I have no problem with telling people how I feel and how they make me feel. Great, right! Who doesn’t want a real one? Yes, that’s great…but what about when it’s time for me to be flexible for someone else. To allow others to make their own decisions, to feel how they need to feel, to process information on their own terms, to sort through their thoughts. When it comes to that, I usually have no time and no mercy. This is probably me just being a product of my environment. But I don’t want to use that as an excuse. I really have been blessed to be around some amazing people that have allowed me to see more of myself, the way that others see me.

Don’t get me wrong, I do think I’m freakin’ awesome but there is always room for growth. The people that I keep around me are a reflection of me and I hope that I can make them better and vice versa. Imagine someone changing plans all the time without even considering what you did to prepare for them…I’ve been on the receiving end of that a few times and I don’t like it. I’d have to say that I’ve dished out plan changes more than I’ve received though. That’s not good. This is my impatience, if someone or something else needs me…I’m gone. Never really taking the time to think about how someone may feel. I want to be a better friend to people and a better lover to my husband when I get there.

I need to exercise patience and my current lack thereof comes from my expectations of others. I’m in go mode, 99% of the time so I expect that of others. I don’t get a break to miss a step or miss an important point on something…so often, if I feel like someone is doing just that I get real short with them. Thats the impatience. But really I think the hurt that I cause comes from the tendency of my impatience to seem as if I don’t care at all. I do care, just in a different way. And I’m learning that patience is a missing piece for me.

That’s my only flaw though (hahaha only kidding), but don’t judge me…I’m getting better.

stp