You want to minimize stress and have the capacity to make sound decisions under pressure?….This is the KEY! Dissociate (within means, of course)! While I understand that some people may disagree (mostly women), I think it’s only because some don’t understand the power in self control. Dissociation has a powerfully negative connotation at first thought but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing, especially considering that it’s usually displayed on a continuum. To dissociate is to disconnect or separate from something. To divorce. To me, dissociation is the crux of managing a happy and healthy life. “How Sway?” If done right, it bring forth BALANCE and perspective. Here’s how…when faced with adversity, negativity or bad vibes don’t run towards it and don’t run from it….simply disconnect for a minute. Some people count to 10 and take a deep breath when they need a moment, while that’s not readily associated with dissociated behavior that’s actually what it is. The key to this disconnect method is to excute it with style and grace! You can’t retaliate and then disconnect. If you do, you’ve already given in to whatever bad moods that were trying to steal your happiness or balance. This can also damage relationships, the complete opposite of what we want.
BUT! You also don’t disconnect for extended periods of time either, that’s “mean” and rude…and actually really immature. Practicing self control, not reacting too fast and refraining from overreacting will leave you with more clarity on the situation and less chances of needing to retract statements and beg for forgiveness after saying and doing things you regret.
Personally, I have not perfected this skill just yet. I’m like 80% there. I know how to retreat and disconnect from negative situations but sometimes I stay dissociated too long (partly because I’m stubborn and partly because I’m trying to understand things). This technique is for the mature, logical and even-keeled; that’s for sure!
Next time you’re in a situation that threatens to piss you off or cause you to take on a defensive stance….disassociate for a second. Disconnect (count to 20, blink your eyes rapidly, take a walk, read an article, take a nap, do jumping jacks…anything to break your focus for a few) and revisit with a new perspective or at the very least with less hot air.